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12 check-in questions for couples that don’t feel like therapy
Quick, low-pressure questions for a weeknight, so you stay close without scheduling a big talk.
Most couples don’t need a big talk. They need a small one, often. A few honest minutes on a weeknight can catch what a once-a-month “how are we doing?” conversation misses.
These questions are designed to be light enough for a Tuesday. Pick two. Answer them yourself too.
How full is your tank
- How full is your tank tonight: full, okay, running low or empty?
- What drained you most today?
- What gave you a bit of energy back?
- Is there anything you’re dreading this week?
The point isn’t the perfect question. It’s asking often enough that the hard ones get easier.
What would help
- What’s one thing I could take off your plate this week?
- Would you rather have some space tonight, or company?
- What did you need today that you didn’t ask for?
- Is there anything you’ve been carrying in your head that I could own?
Just us
- When did you feel most like yourself this week?
- What’s something I did lately that you noticed?
- What’s one small thing we could look forward to this weekend?
- Is there anything you’d like me to notice without you having to say it?
Keep it light
These aren’t an interview. Answer first, so it’s a conversation. If one lands heavy, it’s fine to say “can we come back to that?” The habit matters more than any single answer.